I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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