I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
