So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
