Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
