just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
