I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Randomize
