There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
