Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
