he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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