there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
