bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
