He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
how does that bad decision feel?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
