Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
