If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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