The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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