You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
