On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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