The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
