At least make sure they are 18
Why
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize