Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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