The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
