there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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