Dual....:-)
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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