And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
