went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
