Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
