***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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