I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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