U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
