Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Randomize
