I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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