what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just googled if crying burns calories
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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