Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
