remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
