So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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