I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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