I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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