im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize