I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
