I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
