halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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