so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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