So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
