i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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