____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
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