if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
