I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's blow job season.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
