If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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