I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize