Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize