i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
