Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
