doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
