38 yer olds are good kisserssss
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
