Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
