I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
