That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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