I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
