just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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