Moan for me like Helen Keller
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
